It's okay that you're not ready.

Dear You,

I’m writing to tell you that it’s okay.  It’s okay that you’re not ready.

“Not ready for what?” you ask, as you tilt your head and pretend to not know what I’m talking about.

Here’s the thing – I know you.  And I know that the questions behind your eyes are so much deeper than, “Not ready for what?”  Oh no, there are a million more questions in those eyes – those eyes that have lost a little bit of their sparkle recently, those eyes that are a window into the heart that’s recently lost a little bit of its surety and fire.

I know there are things you aren’t sure about yet.  Things you don’t understand.  Things you’re not ready to be okay about.

And that’s okay.

Oh, and just in case you thought I was going to spare you that final kick-in-the heart (you know, the one that’s for your own good?) --- I’m not.  So here goes:

It’s okay that you don’t want what they want.

It’s okay that you weren’t ready for that.

I see you over there in the corner, beating yourself up over the fact that you weren’t ready – that you wanted something else.

Stop.

I see you in your car, driving to your own blessings, questioning if all of this is what you’re supposed to be doing, and if you’re where you’re supposed to be.

You are.

I see you living your life, doing what you love, wondering if you should feel guilty for being fulfilled by things that don’t fit the mold you’ve been trying to squeeze yourself into for so long.

You shouldn’t.  Because you don’t fit there.  That mold – it’s not meant for you.  And that’s okay.

Really.

So here’s to not being ready – you and me. I promise you that one day you will be. And it will be its own kind of beautiful.  But for now – you not being ready is beautiful, too.  You just have to see it.

Learning and living with you,

Sydney